July 16, 2008 5:44 PM
335 days to go
I’ve been working all day. I’ve been wanting to finish my thesis. I’ve been wanting to preoccupy my mind with anything. I’ve been wanting this episode to be over. I’ve been wanting to feel numb. Its been months now and I’m still wanting you. “my heart, it beats, beats for only you…” I still need a lot of time.
It’s still so clear to me. When I handed you my console, when I asked you to listen to this song, when you asked me the title of it, when I sang it to you, when we listened to it, when we lay together, when we wanted every minute of it.
It’s still so clear to me. When you made me breakfast, when you get angry whenever i refuse to eat, when you argue with me, when we go out at night to get your laundry, when you tell me to take my bath and get dressed, when you kissed me, when you hugged me, when we danced.
It’s still so clear to me. When you get angry whenever you see me playing in ‘my own little world’, when you come home at night and find me waiting, when you ask me if I’ve already eaten, when you ask me to sleep beside you, when you fix your bed up so that we can be comfortable, when you don’t laugh at my jokes.
It’s still so clear to me. Days after we broke up, you asked me to wait for you. I did. I did it patiently.
It’s still so clear to me. Its 11:00 pm. When you walk through that door, when you asked me how I’ve been, when you asked about my studies, when you told me to sleep beside you, when you hugged me again, when you kissed me again. How I’ve longed for it.
It’s still so clear to me. You gave me my last kiss, how happy I was that I’ve waited.
It’s still so clear to me. I’m in pain. Because it’s still so clear to me.
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
I am nothing now and it’s been so long
Since I’ve heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.